Knit the City

Operating from a secret underground wool-lined bunker in the heart of the busy metropolis of London Knit the City’s Yarn Corps spend most of their lives operating under assumed names and living their lives like normal people. You could sit next to one of them on the tube or tut overdramatically behind them at the ticket barrier when their Oyster card doesn’t work.

Most of the information on the Yarn Corps members is classified but here are the details we have so far:.

Deadly Knitshade: Mysteriously turned to the darkside of the Knit one fateful night. Mild-mannered Miss X fell asleep on a London Underground train and barely escaped the dreaded ‘tube sanitiser’ with her life. Details of how she made her escape are unclear, but since that night part of her awoke as Deadly Knitshade.

Instilled with eerie knitting powers. She is subject to constant unexpected ‘knitblasts’ leaving woolly debris around the city. She struggles to control her knits, which seem to have taken on a life of their own, appearing at times in the least expected places. It is her yarn-flavoured burden to bear.

Both sides of her personality are known to mysterious leave gifts of cheese in underground platform shadows. No real explanation for this has been found.

__________

Bluestocking Stitcher: “By Chryst, these Southwarke stretes bore me to de’ath, They are so fuckying drab”, the nun’s priest sayeth.

While reading these scribbled out lines from the original fragments of the Canterbury Tales, Bluestocking Stitcher realised little had changed and resolved to do something about it.

She took to wandering the streets with a pocketful of flowers and butterflies, adding touches of colour to the drabness, accompanied by an internal soundtrack provided by Saint Etienne.

The nun’s priest prefered the Sex Pistols – the old potty-mouth.

__________

The Purple Purler: During some rather interesting research into her family history, The Purple Purler discovered she was a distant relation of the Scarlet Pimpernel.

Taking her inspiration from the exploits of the now dear cousin Pimpernel, she felt it only right to free the knit, through dastardly deeds, from the clutches of acrylic-hoarding grannies, leaving her purple-yarny calling card across the city.

In her spare time she enjoys waltzing with only the finest gentlemen at masquerade balls, and stalking others using as many technological advances as possible. Known for her propensity to freak out and addiction to Rescue Remedy. Loves vampires and the colour purple.

__________

Lady Loop: Tired of a life of corsets, croquet and gaudy high society, Lady Loop fled the confines of the English gentry by thumbing her way down the M1 with a lorry driver named Jonny.

Once in London town she got hooked on yarn in the capital’s underground knitting bars and now spends her days hitchhiking back up to the English countryside and siphoning wool from the rare-breed sheep of private estates.

By day she spins it into beautiful yarns, by night she knits it up and roams the streets looking for places to show off her ill-gotten knitted wares.

__________

Shorn-a the Dead: A mutant hybrid of Wales and New Zealand, land of the ovine zombies, Shorn-a was high on sheep dip one winter’s night when Nelson’s Column visited her in a dream and told her it was a bit chilly.

Ever since then, she’s been on a quest to clothe London’s public statuary, one legwarmer at a time. Her weapon of choice is a tasty possum-merino blend.

__________

Knitting Ninja: Taken from the streets as a child, she was trained to become one of the world’s most deadly assassins.

Until one day, she decided that avenging crimes committed against bare landscapes was a far worthier cause.

She spells out revenge with a stroke of her needle. Defying the orders of her superiors, she now dedicates her skills to making the city a place of woolly harmony.

It’s a time of change. No longer shall the city lack woolly integrity.

__________

The Fastener: Having recently returned from exile on faraway shores for crimes against children’s TV, this crafty lass spent her time forced to create using found objects and the local yen store.

After opening a mysterious box of fastenings in a dimly lit back alley shop she was transformed as zips, buttons and embellishments started to attach themselves to her. Since that day she has become The Fastener.

Her lightning-fast knitting powers helping her spread her woolly joy on returning home.