There is one thing that Knit the City are definite about. It is our golden rule. We will NEVER do another Phone Box Cosy. No. We won’t! Nope. You can’t make us! Uh uh! NO! NO! NO!
Since we arrived on the graffiti knitting scene we have done some crazy things:
Cosies knit: 3 (we got bored of those pretty quick)
Yarnstorm locations: 25
Total amigurumi creatures and items left in the wild: 296
Yarnstorms on foreign shores: 2
Words invented: 1 Yarnstorming! (We invented the term ‘yarnstorming’ as our alternative to the ‘yarnbombing’ name. Bombing and London don’t mix well)
Longest yarnstorm: 6 hours – our Oranges and Lemons Odyssey (also the first yarnstorm to be tweeted live on Twitter)
People eaten by our giant knitted squid: undisclosed
Highest yarnstorm: 7 metres
Police warnings: 1 – Parliament Square Phone Box Cosy ‘Stop and Search’ notice
We’re proud pioneers of the public purl. When we got bored of the whole ‘putting knitting on stuff’ thing, we decided to start telling ‘stitched stories’. Rumour has it we were the first group to start using amigurumi to give our yarnstorms a voice (and a sense of humour). Today there are dozens of groups worldwide telling stitched stories. A fact that makes us Snoopy dance about our secret wool-lined bunker with glee.
So how do we celebrate nearly 300 woolly creatures in the wild and 3 years of yarnstorming? By giving London a present to say thank you, and by breaking a rule. It’s what Banksy would do (though he’d swear more).
It’s big. It’s bad. It combines ‘the cosy’ and a ‘stitched story’. It brings back some of our past makes and throws in some new ones. And it takes us back to the very start in one of those pleasing circular ways. Ladies and gents…
Parliament Square Phone Box Cosy: The Revenge
So this Phone Box then. Where is it again?
It’s on Great George Street. On Parliament Square. Right near Big Ben.
Uh. Isn’t there a lot of CCTV and police there?
And we’re still going to…?
*makes chicken noise*
Sigh. Ok. But if we go to prison then you’re digging the Shawshank-style tunnel out of there with your crochet hook.
[Right: the target pre-yarnstorm. Isn’t it pretty? And so innocently unsuspecting…]
Hang on. Can’t we just use the old cosy? Do we still have it? The police made us take it down the first time, right?
Umm… No. Some of it has been eaten by radioactive acyrlic moths.
All of it?!!
No, but most of it. We can maybe Frankenstein the old bits with some new bits…?
Will you hurry up?! There are important people watching!
Alright! Pass the most eye-popping yarn we have. Let’s do this thing. Theme music, please!
That’s the theme music to Spiderman.
Still not right.
I’m sorry! My theme-tune generator is playing up. How about this?
Alright! Ok! Forget about theme music. Let’s just get this cosy sorted. EEK! WHAT IS THAT?!
That’s a mouse. There’s been a mouse in almost all of Knit the City’s yarnstorms. Don’t you know anything?
Clearly I don’t…
And that’s a Raven. You know, Tower of London and all that?
I fail to see how this is making the Phone Box any more cosy than it was.
It’s not about the cosy this time. Cosies are so last season.
So, what is it about? What’s our ‘stitched story’ this time?
Umm… London… Jubilee… Reclaiming the streets for knitting kind… More knitted things on stuff… Pigeons…
Knitted ones. In pockets.
You know that pigeon is nearly as big as Big Ben, right? And it’s too cute to be a pigeon. It’s got both feet! How is that a London pigeon?
Alright! You put something on it then.
Fine. I will.
Oh. Now that’s Londony. Flag and soldier. Colour me impressed. My go!
In a tiny PVC outfit.
Yes it is.
You don’t have anything more Londony? More woolly?
The Invisible Man.
I despair. I really do.
To be fair at least we got the ‘cosy’ bit right.
I’m pretty pleased with those stripes.
And the back is pretty cool. If I were a Phone Box I’d be happy to wear that in public.
And those people who have stopped to take pictures and have their pictures taken with it, well they seem quite happy about it.
You’re right. So, not a bad effort all in all. Does this mean that we’re going to go back to doing cosies from now on, then?
Do we have to?
No. No, we do not.
Well, at least we can say we tried.
Happy yarnstormiversary, London! Here’s to many more years of sneaky stitching in this fine city. Thanks for putting up with our public purling. Woolly mischief managed.
Phone Box Cosy: The Revenge was yarnstormed by Deadly Knitshade, The Fastener and Shorn-a the Dead on March 14th 2012. It was filmed for the BBC’s The One Show and televised on March 15th (you can watch it on iPlayer here for a limited time. It’s about 9.40 minutes in).
Patterns for all London creatures, landmarks and the Union Jack can be found in the book Stitch London: 20 Kooky Ways to Knit the City and More.
We’re not trying to sell you stuff. We’re merely pointing it out.
(subliminal message) BUYOURBOOKSYOUKNOWYOUWANTTO (subliminal message end)