The sinister stitched symphony of the Nutcracker Knitmare Before Christmas

Posted by on Mar 4, 2010 in Deadly Knitshade, How We Made, Lady Loop, London, Shorn-a the Dead, The Fastener | 4 comments

Twas the Knit before Christmas in cold London Town,
Where a lone ballerina was cast with a frown,
Yet the girl was not long for her knitless despair,
For KTC’s Yarn Corps soon would be there…

A bare ballerina

From out of the shadows the five stitchers came,
While visions of yarnstormings danced in their brains,
In their hands they clutched creatures of crochet and yarn,
Who hatched plans of capture and fibre-based harm.

Around the cold dancer arose such a clatter,
As small creatures stormed her and threw yarnropes at her,
The Nutcracker Prince scaled her head in a flash,
Mouse King tickled her nose like a rodent moustache.

The Nutcracker Prince: Not Freddy Mercury


The Mouse King woos

The buffoon, Russell B, chose to lurk somewhere warm,
And well-trained peg soldiers conducted a storm,
Far-too-happy flowers became creepers and flingers,
And a sour-faced snowflake was caught ‘tween her fingers.

The buffoon needed hair combing

Flowers and fat little dancers

The Sugarplum Fairy, so lively and quick,
Hopped past peg-doll Clara, a mere blonde-haired stick,
To climb to the shoulder and stare a red stare,
While an angry mouse soldier waved forks by her hair.

Clara: a bit blonde


Manly mouse soldier

“Now Purple! Now, Daisy! Now, Scarlet and Yellow!
Fly Lilac! Go Blue!” was the Flowers war-cry bellow
To the knobs of her knees! To the top of her bonce!
While the ruffle-dressed Spaniards climbed ropes as they danced.

Diabolical Daisy

Yellow peril

Bullying blue

I keeeeel you!

Columbine rose with her Harlequin beau,
Intent on such evil it’s best not to know,
Upside down and be-clawed Drosselmeyer hung to hoot,
On her knee a mouse soldier sharp-speared but quite cute.

Criminal Columbine

Hooting with hate

Knee deep in knitting

And then, in a twinkling, the yarnstorm was done,
Frozen fingers returned to the gloves whence they’d come,
A scattering of yarn ends, a few twists of thread,
The dull ballerina was draped in stitched dread.

Lonely no more

Knitted by nightfall

They spoke not a word, as they turned from their art,
Only grinned at their yarnstorm and chose to depart
But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they snuck out of sight,
“Scary Stitchmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

“Now where is there a pub that sells mulled wine?”

For more melodious myths on the Knitmare that was The Nutcracker see:

Alt Artist‘s mini documentary A Cheeky Xmas Greeting from Alt Artist and KTC

Deadly Knitshade’s Single White Mouse King WLTM Ballerina

The Fastener’s Knit the City Nutcracker and her Nutcracker Flowers video:

YouTube Preview Image

 The Nutcracker Knitmare Before Christmas was yarnstormed outside London's Royal Opera House on December 13 2009 by Deadly Knitshade, Shorn-a the Dead, The Bluestocking Stitcher, The Purple Purler and The Fastener.


  1. I just adore your yarnful ways, full of mischief and fun.
    corrine aka jafabrit

  2. Fun, fabulous and fierce!

  3. oh my goshhhhh how cute is this! I especially like the owl

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